Spring Break
Martin Luther's 95 Theses: Global Warming Edition
Issue date: 11/8/09 Section: Entertainment
Out of love for the truth and the desire
to bring it to light, the following
propositions will be discussed at Eastern Washington University, under the presidency of A Man With A Name on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.
In the Name our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
1. Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.
2. This word cannot be understood to mean controlling their fellow man, under the pretenses of the destruction of the world, which can come only through the Will of God alone.
3. Yet it means not that we abuse the Earth, for we have been tasked by God in Genesis to care for it and subdue it.
4. The penalty [of sin], therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
5. Al Gore does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority as Vice President or by that of the Congress.
6. Al Gore cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by God and by assenting to God's remission, of which he has no proof to such claim.
7. God remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things.
8. The practitioners of Global Warming impose their will on the living, and punish them, for the conjured actions of the dead.
9. Therefore the Demon in Al Gore is cruel
to us, because in his decrees he always makes threats of death in order to make his commands necessary.
10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those environmentalists who, in the case of the dying, having nothing to see beyond the grave.
11. The changing of the threat of Global Cooling to Global Warming is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while Americans slept.
to bring it to light, the following
propositions will be discussed at Eastern Washington University, under the presidency of A Man With A Name on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.
In the Name our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
1. Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.
2. This word cannot be understood to mean controlling their fellow man, under the pretenses of the destruction of the world, which can come only through the Will of God alone.
3. Yet it means not that we abuse the Earth, for we have been tasked by God in Genesis to care for it and subdue it.
4. The penalty [of sin], therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
5. Al Gore does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority as Vice President or by that of the Congress.
6. Al Gore cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by God and by assenting to God's remission, of which he has no proof to such claim.
7. God remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things.
8. The practitioners of Global Warming impose their will on the living, and punish them, for the conjured actions of the dead.
9. Therefore the Demon in Al Gore is cruel
to us, because in his decrees he always makes threats of death in order to make his commands necessary.
10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those environmentalists who, in the case of the dying, having nothing to see beyond the grave.
11. The changing of the threat of Global Cooling to Global Warming is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while Americans slept.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
Edwin Weber
posted 1/31/10 @ 3:00 PM PST
If al Gore is so concerned about the environment, then why was one of the first things he and Slippery Bill did when they came into office the destruction of an important federal environmental law, one that applied ONLY to federal bureaucrats and federal projects?Why did they destroy section 4(f) of the Transportation Act of 1966 and the landmark Overton Park decision that enforced it?They did it in a manner straight out of Orwell's "1984". (Continued…)
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